Leaf Jewels
by Lilac Lenalee
Summary: Leafpool finds herself fighting a battle between love and loyalty as she goes to meet Crowfeather for one of their secret meetings.


The waxing light of the moon was smudged by the veil of misty rain that flitted gracefully to the ground. Leafpool pushed her way farther into the damp forest greenery, vainly attempting to track one specific scent in the seemingly hopeless conditions. Her nose itched for even a meager trace of that sweet grass infused aroma, flirting with the unmistakable scent of musky warm heather. Still, the drenched medicine cat hunted perilously for the one and only cat that could make the sun rise in her heart, who could wash away all her hopeful doubts and ungrantable wishes with simply a whispered mew: Crowfeather.

Just like the beads of water clinging desolately to the plants around her, Leafpool clung just as devotedly to the little filament of hope flickering inside her, the hope that maybe, just maybe, Crowfeather was still out there waiting for her. Leafpool imagined his feather-soft fur, so sleek it shone like the night sky itself, and felt her body shiver eagerly. He had to be there.

The trickling of the border-line stream became identifiable amongst the rain's relentless drumming, and Leafpool felt her muscles tense in rebellion. This was so wrong. She could feel the claws of the Warrior Code scouring at a torturously slow speed down her spine, all the rules weighing down on her until she sunk beneath the breath snatching mud. StarClan must be so ashamed of her.

"I knew you'd come."

Leafpool whipped around, her heart fluttering like a fish. Crowfeather's muscular outline stood before her, even thinner with the blanket of rain flattening his dark pelt. Leafpool blinked away rain from her eyes, making absolutely certain that she wasn't mistaking some shadow for the WindClan warrior. But as the shadowy figure moved forward, breaking the watery black surface of the river with unwavering paw steps, Leafpool knew with blazing conviction that it was undoubtedly the prickly black cat whom she loved.

"Crowfeather," Leafpool felt her throat grow warm and succulent at the mentioning of his name. "I'm so, so . . ."

As if reading her mind Crowfeather pushed his flank beside Leafpool's, so comfortingly close that not even the rain could slip between them. "I'm cold too." Crowfeather growled, the rain muting his voice to an ear straining murmur. "But nothing could stop me from seeing you, Leafpool."

Vines of loving warmth twined around Leafpool, strangling her in their blissful consolance. The rain seemed to emanate a bittersweet taste to it; even nature was shaking its head at her disloyal actions. But just one look at Crowfeather made her worries melt away as fast as morning dew in the sun.

The rain drummed on, leaping gracefully along the surface of the river like dancing butterflies. Leafpool let her head rest gently atop Crowfeather's and let out an emotion packed sigh. "If the Warrior Code is so against us being together, why does it feel so right to be by your side, Crowfeather?" she mewed quietly. The rain seemed to hush away knowingly at the sound of her dreamy voice.

Crowfeather's gaze pierced her side, so passionate and unwaveringly powerful that Leafpool could've sworn the rain was fervently holding its breath around her. His eyes pinned her to the spot, making her completely immobile under his dangerously potent stare. As he opened his mouth, it seemed to magnetically draw Leafpool further towards him, and the rain hypnotically hummed in the background. "I think that very thought every day of my life, Leafpool."

Finally, Leafpool forced herself to look Crowfeather in the eye. The authentic reassurance she knew would be there was too much for her to handle, and her neck snapped sharply in place as she nearly plunged into the deep black pools of his soul. She felt herself drowning in their mysterious depths, the cold unknown salvaging her breath and his sun hot love numbing all her senses to a dead pulse. As she gave in to his yearning, sudden unwelcome realization stroked her coat deviously. She understood what love really was now – a constant battle, multifaceted in its goalless dimensions. But she was forbidden to feel this way. The toxic thorn at the back of her mind never ceased its duty of diligently reminding her of this everytime she drank a little bit too much of Crowfeather's sweet inexplicable soul.

"I love you, Crowfeather."

The rain hammered down like a stampede of battle hungry cats, shattering the supernatural silence that engulfed the forest mere moments ago. Leafpool felt the whole world turn its back on her, her insides throwing flaming balls of bile up her throat that seared defiance at her spoken actions. She had never felt so isolated in her entire life. Even the mystifying bond between her and Squirrelflight seemed to snap and recoil into the interstitial fluids of Leafpool's body. It was too much for her to take. With an excruciating mewl of raw sorrow Leafpool hurtled herself back towards her Clan, surrendering to their soundless pleas.

"Leafpool!" Crowfeather's shrill yowl ricocheted off the drops of crystal tumbling from the sky, but Leafpool ignored it. Why did he have to make it worse? Why couldn't Crowfeather just spit at her feet and reprimand her like her mother would? At least then her pain would be so unbearably sensationaless that she could go about her duties like a half-dead cat, weighed down by her traitorous past.

"Leafpool, don't go! Don't be afraid!"

A bolt of pain thundered through her leg as a thorn snuggled its way into her paw, and Leafpool felt the muddy forest floor crash across her face in one helpless heartbeat. The panic stiffened strides of Crowfeather sounded distantly behind her, and the sparkling warriors of StarClan mockingly began to swirl before her eyes.

Leafpool was too weak to fight against the black fog smoking across her mind. As it gouged its way deeper and deeper into her defeated persona, something tickled her nose, waking her senses out of their miserable shock. She blinked open her rain heavy eyelids and let her blurry vision adjust to its bleak surroundings before she realized what had caressed her nose tip. It was a crow's feather, a black impression against the viscous brown mud.

Without summoning herself to do so she picked up the feather, its delicate skeleton resting gently in her mouth. It seemed to ooze a strangely familiar warmth through her body, revitalizing her deadened senses. As if being lead by a dream Leafpool padded calmly towards the river where she had fled.

Crowfeather shot her a bewildered stare as she trotted past, clearly mystified at her change in stance and direction. He hurried to catch up with her, matching her pawstep for pawstep.

"Is that a –" Crowfeather was cut off from speaking by a nameless force, and Leafpool simply looked at him, a glint of adoration sparkling in her eyes.

The swelled murmuring of the river greeted Leafpool as she approached its shore. She stood before it, sure of what she was doing yet completely unsure. She felt Crowfeather's slick pelt brush beside her's, and Leafpool gazed at him lovingly. He was also clasping something in his jaws.

Crowfeather released the item from his mouth and placed it caringly down on the rain soaked earth. "Leafpool," he nudged the item closer to her with his paw. It was a perfectly formed leaf, dressed in jewels of rain. "Your love will never cease hunting me down. I love you with all my heart."

Leafpool felt her mind turn to liquid. With an unspoken command she placed the crow feather delicately atop Crowfeather's leaf, and then bravely looked up into his glowing eyes. The rain had turned to a fine mist, and it seemed to outline Crowfeather in a shimmery gray fur. "Crowfeather," she took a deep shaky breath before she continued. "Even if the entire history of the Clans were to abandon me, I will forever and always love you."

The two cats touched noses sweetly, then, almost as one, they both pawed the leaf package into the river. The strong current forcefully pushed at the leaf, but it managed to float elegantly along the ribbon of water, further and further away from the two cats. Leafpool let her body rest on Crowfeather's and breathed in his scent one final time before her departure. The two watched in serene silence as the leaf and feather slipped away, just like a secret seeking refuge from the truth. Leafpool knew this feeling, this completely unbearable yet euphoric feeling that leaped inside her chest and made her feel light-headed with bliss, would remain with her for as long as she lived.


End file.
